so do not underestimate me

i am small, but i do big.
i am short, but i perform high.
i have lack of height and size, but i definitely have no lack of quality.

some people just like to underestimate me in the first glance. and it has happened like idk-how-many-times already. like in my whole life. destiny? nah. just not a very fascinating fact :P

i know exactly what they're thinking just by looking at the way they respond to my questions or the way they look at me. they think i am just a little girl who is still too young and unstable and unreliable and incapable to handle a job. they may also think that im just acting like im capable when im actually not. and sometimes they would ignore me like im a form of a fly flying free in the air. or talk to me like i have no authority. not cool. either way, i do not care any longer now. whatever it is they think, let it be. like i caarreee.

whoa? really dont care? reallyyyyy? emm not really. hahaha! okay i dont care because at certain point, its always them who would stop and look. and start to notice that there is something they missed. something they overlooked. which is ME. and then they would start trying to read me. or bribe me with chocolates (mr. C? :P) who am i actually? what have i really got? and then, they know better. that yes, i am capable. i am qualified. and above all, i am sincere. and trust me on this, you dont get to find sincere people so easily here.

so sometimes, you just dont have to underestimate me.

oh i hate nagging in blog but this is what i've been holding back for quite a while. and i dont even mean to nag though, i just want a record of what im feeling and how i view this thing.

anyway, im so super sleepy.
im off the screen now.
goodnight, world.

family

father and mother i love you

indeed, indeed!

tuesdays with morrie

'have i told you about the tension of opposites?' he says.
the tension of opposites?
'life is a series of pulls back and forth. you want to do something, but you are bound to do something else. something hurts you, yet you know
it shouldn't. you take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
'a tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. and most of us live somewhere in the middle.
sounds like a wrestling match, i say.
'a wrestling match.' he laughs. 'yes, you could describe life that way.'
so which side wins, i ask?
'which side wins?'
he smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
'love wins. love always wins.'

|mitch albom

path of life

'what do you think will happen if we don't end up together? are we gonna hate each other? do you think we'll keep in touch?'

'i think .. if life separates us, and we have been in totally different places, i would always remember where my path of life is at this period of time. and i'll be thankful for that. and i hope that where you are, you'll be thankful too.'

~strangers, again

with 5 watt eyes

at the end of the day, the blood spoiled is the blood spoiled. what have you done not to waste it?

 ~aryo in Pahlawan the Musical

bhinneka tunggal ika?

'kenapa Allah ciptain kita beda beda, kalau Allah cuma mau disembah dengan satu cara?'
'makanya Allah ciptain cinta, biar yang beda beda, bisa nyatu.'

~annisa & cina in cin(T)a

breaktime chitchat

don't have money? make money. don't have time? make time.
the most important is having somebody that you are happy with.

~andy pho

pilihlah hujannya

hello.
hari ini gue diam di rumah. dan gue gelisah. ga bisa melakukan apa apa.

lalu karena bosan dan mati gaya habis habisan maka gue pun mulai berpetualang dengan mengubek lemari buku nyokap gue hehe. di sana gue menemukan sebuah buku yang judulnya spektakuler : How an Ordinary Woman Can Have an Extraordinary Life karya Joy Weston. wow, kelihatan sungguh sensasional. buku nya masih disegel, jadi sebelom buka segel nya, gue lirik kiri lirik kanan dulu kayak maling pakaian dalem.

gue pun membaca dengan hikmat.

di salah satu bab, Joy cerita tentang temen nya yang nama nya Sheila. si Sheila ini pernah ngedate sama cowo yang lebih muda 10 taun, dan dia takut cowo ini tau kalo dia jauh lebih tua. suatu hari Sheila makan siang sama temen nya. waktu itu lagi hujan, dan Sheila mengeluh tentang hujan itu. temen nya trus bilang :

'Sheila, pilihlah hujannya.'
'bagaimana caranya aku memilih hujannya? aku bahkan tidak memiliki payung!'
'apakah hujan akan berhenti kalau kau menginginkannya? apakah hujan akan langsung pergi? mengapa tidak memilih untuk melihat keindahan dalam hujan dan biarkan hujan itu menambah keindahan harimu dan bukan menguranginya?'

pilihlah hujannya, berarti pilihlah untuk bahagia dengan diri dan keadaan tepat seperti yang sedang terjadi.

menurut gue, cara pandang ini keren banget. kenapa kita ga pilih hujannya? toh kita juga ga akan bisa mengubah sesuatu yang ada di luar keterbatasan kita sebagai manusia. kenapa kita ga nikmati aja keadaannya? tapi, hal semacam ini bagi gue masih sangat easier said than done. gue masih sering tuh, sebel sama keadaan dan menyesali dengan garuk garuk tanah.

tapi kalo ga dicoba, selamanya ga akan bisa kan? jadi kayaknya gue akan coba. si Sheila uda buktiin dia berhasil waktu dia jujur sama cowo nya dan ternyata di luar dugaan, cowo nya malah nganggep dia keren.

oke, gue sudah cukup lelah berfilosofi hari ini hahaha.
dadah!

walaupun kini, ia selalu merasa gembira setiap kali laki-laki itu menatapnya dan tersenyum padanya. seperti sekarang ini.

~ ilana tan

~a blog in tumblr.com

NOT a freak geek

huh-hah smell of blog :)
i'm back! after almost 2 months escaped from the technology called internet :)

well. national exams are waiting there impatiently so i need to be ready to face them.
i'm blogging to neutralize my mind and keep normal and convince myself that almost every night sleeping with the exam preparation book doesn't turn me into a freak geek. i still have a world, baby. and i'm going to rock it soon, wait and see :)

pinky together with ex prep book, reports from the full-of-books-and-test-paper-that-i-can't-find-my-pencil desk.
well, still-not-a-freak-geek-i-am.

it will all be worth it in the end. areta's~

and how will i ever know if a man is what he says?

~clay aiken

expect the best, be prepared for the worst, fcuk with what others think, and do your own thing.

elisa cj~